Open Wounds
by IsItDead
Summary: Dean changed after Hell.  Wincest  Abuse  Slash  Self Harm  Songfic to Open Wounds by Skillet


Open Wounds

In the dark with the music on  
>Wishing I was somewhere else<br>Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help  
>I would rather rot alone<br>Than spend a minute with you  
>I'm gone, I'm gone<p>

And you can't stop me from falling apart  
>'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault<p>

How could you, how could you,  
>how could you hate me?<br>When all I ever wanted to be was you?  
>How could you, how could you, how could you love me?<br>When all you ever gave me were open wounds?  
>Open wounds.<p>

Sam doesn't make a sound as Dean enters the room, pretending to be asleep.

"I know you're not sleeping, Bitch." He growls, his hand rough on Sam's shoulder. _Dammit he saw through it._

Sam lets his eyes open since faking hadn't worked and he doesn't want to make Dean any madder.

"Hi." Sam says in a small voice.

Dean doesn't reply, just starts to strip Sam of his clothes.

Sam lifts his hips up so that Dean can remove his jeans.

Once Dean has rid Sam of his clothes he quickly takes off his own.

Dean quickly coats himself in lube and pushes in, no preparation. Sam screams even though he is use to it.

Sam cries out, but he himself can't even tell if it is in pleasure or pain. And that scares him.

Once it is over Dean goes to the bathroom and returns with a wet cloth. He uses it to clean the blood and come off of Sam

When he comes back from putting the cloth back in the bathroom he crawls into the bed and spoons Sam, whispers apologies and begs for forgiveness, tells Sam that he loves him.

And the tears slip silently down Sam's face.

_Downstairs the enemy sleeps  
>Leaving the TV on<br>Watching all the dreams we had turn into static_

_(static)  
>Doesn't matter what I do<br>Nothing's gonna change  
>I'm never good enough<br>_

_And you can't stop me from falling apart  
>Cause my self-destruction is all your fault!<em>

When Dean goes out in the morning, cheerfully promising to grab breakfast, Sam slips into the bathroom with one of the knives.

He draws it across the skin of his arm, smiling at the pain.

He watches the crimson liquid pool onto the floor while he thinks of how things used to be.

Before Hell Dean used to make love to him, sure sometimes they'd fuck; but he had never outright hurt Sam like this.

Hell had messed Dean up severely.

And Sam missed the old Dean.

_How could you, how could you,  
>how could you hate me?<br>When all I ever wanted to be was you?  
>How could you, how could you, how could you love me?<br>When all you ever gave me were open wounds?  
><em>

_Tell me why you broke me down and  
>betrayed my trust in you, I'm not giving up,<br>giving in when will this war end?  
>When will it end?<em>

Sam must have lost track of time sitting there on the tiles because suddenly Dean was there, banging on the bathroom door.

"Sam! Come on, Sam! Let me in!" Dean sounds…scared; Sam observes this, feeling like he is watching this from the outside.

"Dammit, Sam! Let me in!" Dean sounds so worried…about Sam.

Sam absently hears the sounds of the door getting kicked down, then Dean is suddenly there, with his arms wrapped around Sam.

And Dean's hands are covered in blood, Sam's blood. Sam looks down and realises that he must have cut deeper than he had meant too. That's where all the blood had come from.

And Dean is saying something, but Sam can't quite understand it, like he is hearing it from far away.

The last thing Sam sees before he blacks out is Dean's terrified face.

_You can't stop me from falling apart (3X)  
>'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault.<em>

Sam wakes in a bed in a white room, with the beeps of machines in the background, a hospital.

Dean is sitting in a chair beside the bed; he is holding Sam's hand like Sam might disappear at any moment.

"I was wondering when you were gonna wake up," Dean says softly. "Please, don't ever do that again, Sammy. I almost lost you. I was so scared that it was going to be too late. That I had been too late."

"Sorry," Sam whispers.

"I'm sorrier. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry for hurting you. It's something I never wanted to do." Dean's crying now, tears slipping rapidly down his face.

"It's okay, I forgive you," Sam says tugging on Dean's sleeve, trying to get him closer.

Then Dean's lips are moving against Sam's. And he's whispering, "I'm sorry," and "I love you,". His tears mixing with Sam's.

The kiss is gentle and sweet, like how their kisses used to be before hell, and Sam knows that things are going to be different.

_How could you, how could you,  
>how could you hate me?<br>When all I ever wanted to be was you?  
>How could you, how could you, how could you love me?<br>When all you ever gave me were open wounds?  
><em>

_How could you, how could you,  
>How could you, how could you,<br>All I ever wanted to be was you,  
>All you ever gave me were open wounds!<em>


End file.
